Redemption
by KrysSaiyan
Summary: What if Goku managed to save Vegeta before he could die? What if everything was put out into the open? What if someone has to be broken before they can recognize what love is? Sequal to Condemned. Shonen-ai. Please R&R. COMPLETE. Possible sequel.
1. Repercussions

This is a sequel to my one-shot, Condemned. It's better to go back and read that before this one. 

This is a shonen-ai fic between Goku and Vegeta, in Vegeta's POV. I tried my best to keep them in character, but I doubt I succeeded. And no, there won't be any lemon. I'm a virgin, I can't write lemons without them sounding horribly corny. Hell, I can barely write romance.

This is my first attempt at writing any type of romance, much less shonen-ai romance. I've spent the better part of two years hunting down and ravenously reading and re-reading G/V yaoi and shonen-ai fics, so if you see something in here that looks familiar, I've probably subconsciously copied some random plot device from another author.

This has been written out before hand. That is, I have the story finished. Unless I decide to add extra chapters, the story is done. The more you review, the quicker I feel like posting chapters. Understood? Good reader. *pats*

Blood and sweat went into this fic. It's my masterpiece, my baby. Please treat it accordingly. ^_^

Repercussions 

I feel heavy. This is the first thing that I sense. The next thoughts are of the warmth surrounding me and the exhaustion that's inwardly begging me to stop sensing things and just slip back into the blank void. I suddenly register a pain around my midsection.

            Snapping my eyes open, I suddenly regret it, hissing quietly and closing my eyes again. I try lifting a hand up to shield them from the bright light that's blinded me, but abruptly find that my arms are either so heavy I cannot lift them, or I'm being restrained. I'm not sure which. Slowly peeling my eyelids open and ignoring the silent protest they're giving me by watering, I squint at the ceiling. 

            So, I'm in a room. But how the heck did I get here? This isn't where I sleep…

            And just as suddenly as the pain had hit me earlier, I remember what had happened before I fell asleep. Jerking in a panic, I groan when I realize that doing so may not have been a good idea. The pain in my abdomen increases ten fold and throbs at me angrily. Panting with the sheer force of the wave of pain, I collapse back into a boneless posture. 

            _'Weak,'_ it hisses at me. I shiver and feel the beginning of tears form in my eyes. Squinting them shut again, I wonder what has happened. Before I have time to do so, a voice (from outside of my mind this time) rouses me and I blearily open my eyes again.

            "Vegeta! You're awake!" he says joyfully. I stare at him dumbly, in shock. 

            I'm not dead. But… how?...

            "I found you in the middle of nowhere…" he says mournfully. He looks away, and I know what he's thinking. He's pitying me. He knew full well what I had been doing. What I had been _trying_ to do. Yet again, he had to swoop in and save my pathetic ass from dying just in time. 

            He probably brought me here and… what? Force fed me a senzu? Had the green midget use his powers to heal me? Or something else? How the hell did I get here? Where _was_ here?

            "Vegeta…" he whispers, turning to look me in the eyes. I can't look away, no matter how much I want to.

            "Vegeta… _why_?" 

            I remain silent. I'm feeling nauseous and I think I'm getting dizzy. 

            "Why did you save me Kakarrotto?" I ask, my throat dry and raspy. He notes this and grabs a glass of water from a small table. Putting a straw in it, he holds it by my mouth. I refuse, turning my head to the side and give him a sideways glare for not answering my question, and for not letting me die in the first place. If I had the energy to scream at him, I would. 

            I see him frown from the corner of my eye and finally am able to look away. I stare at the white wall to my side instead. 

            And jump when I'm met with an orange-clad body. 

            Letting my eyes travel upward, I stop at his face. He still has the glass held in one hand. His face is set, scowling at me. I blink once, confused. What did I do?

            And abruptly I find the side of my head being pressed against the pillow and the straw in the glass of water poking my mouth.

            "Drink," he commands. He's holding my head still so I won't turn away again. My stomach turns and I tightly shut my eyes, trying to block out everything. Why did the room have to be so bright? Why did the idea of drinking water appeal to me so, even when I wanted so desperately to die? _Why didn't he just let me die?_

            "Vegeta, I'm not going to let you die on me!" he yells. Strange, how much emotion is in his voice. Even stranger is how he keeps echoing my thoughts out loud. 

            My mouth is pried open unwillingly and the straw inserted between my teeth. But he can't make me drink. I won't drink. If I don't drink or eat, I won't have to prolong my life. I can die. It will be more painful, but I've been through worse. I'll take the pain if it means that I can finally rest. I wonder if I can be more tired than I am now. I'm falling asleep again.

            But he's just too stubborn. He won't let up, trying to make me live. Won't let me sleep until he's sure that I'll live to wake again. What's wrong with him? Why does he care if I live or die?

            Abruptly my eyes snap open again in shock. He's… he's… my brain failed to comprehend what he's doing. Until I felt the water being forced into my mouth via _his_ mouth. It wasn't enough that he was kissing me. No. He had to force me to drink _while_ kissing me! I unwillingly swallow a mouthful of the sweet water (until he told me otherwise, I believed that it was purposely flavored that way _before_ he had it in his mouth) but he's still lingering in my mouth. For a brief instant, the urge to bite his damn tongue off flickers through me and my teeth close over it, holding it still. I see his eyes flicker open in surprise and he blushes, apparently embarrassed that he had stayed a bit longer than necessary. 

            Just as soon as it had come, the urge fades away into nothing. I let go of his tongue and relax. Let him have me then. I don't care anymore. 

            "S-s-sorry…" he stutters out, after removing himself from me. He's blushing still, looking away. But, unlike last time, it's not out of pity for me. It's shame in himself. 

            "Don't be." I say shortly. My voice sounds less tortured now that the water has cooled my throat. I silently curse Kakarrotto and his insistence. But I do feel slightly better. Physically at least. 

            There's a long silence. He slowly brings the glass and its straw up to my lips and pleads with me through his eyes. He looks mournful. 

            So I decide the damage has already been done and it can't get any worse. I latch onto the end of the straw and drink with all the energy I have left. It quickly emptied, and my energy is spent. Exhausted, I let my eyes close and sigh as the straw is drawn out of my mouth. Maybe he'll let me get some sleep now…

            As my consciousness slips away, I distantly hear a comforting rumbling sound and feel a warm, safe, protecting presence envelop my mind. The other _thing_ in my mind growls its discontent, but I ignore it and concentrate as much as I can on the comforting hand petting my scalp and fingers brushing my hair. I cease to remember that there is a person there at all, much less who it is. Utterly spent, I fall back asleep.


	2. Broken

My eyelids flutter open. It is no longer painful to move, though my hands and feet are still bound. Blinking away sleep, I look around the room. The bright light I had noticed before seemed dimmed, though I still couldn't be sure as to where it came from. I look around the small room curiously and spot Kakarrotto asleep in a corner, slumped on the floor and leaning his upper body against a wall. My head is slightly clearer, so I notice now that he looks disheveled. His normally bright orange gi is stained with blood. I assume it to be my own. He must've carried me to… wherever we are now. His hair is unusually shiny and I realize it must be grease. He hasn't bathed in at least a week, is my guess. He seems pale and… almost skinny. Not emaciated, but thinner than I can remember seeing him. His face is the worst though. He has huge bags under his eyes, and by the tracks of clean skin running down his face, it looks like he's… been crying? He was crying?

            The thing stirs once, then settles. It knows not to push me at the moment. But I can feel that it finds immense pleasure in making him cry. I shiver in disgust at having such an ugly thing inside me. Though I can't be sure if it isn't actually _part_ of me. 

            I dully noted that I seem to be completely healed, but I still don't have enough strength to break free of my bindings. My stomach growls at me, demanding food. I try and ignore it, staring at the ceiling. Thinking.

            Why did he want me to live so badly? It wouldn't have affected him if I were to die. Could it be that Bulma and Trunks would have been upset, so he was protecting them from pain? But what about me? What about _my_ pain? Didn't I deserve to rest? To stop hurting?

            _'Coward!__ Coward coward, still a coward! Selfish and weak!'_ it gleefully sings. I groan out loud and shut my eyes, as if to shut out the thoughts bouncing grotesquely through my mind. I'm so concentrating on shutting them out I don't hear Kakarrotto wake and walk over to me. I take notice when he rests a hand on my arm. I open my eyes and look at him. He smiles gently back and opens his mouth to say something.

            My stomach growls ferociously, interrupting him. He chuckles, rather forcibly, and tells me to wait here. Like I have any choice in the matter.

            He comes back in carrying as many trays and platters of food as he can. One is perched precariously on his head. He sets them all down carefully and then kneels next to me, removing the bed sheets from over my body. I notice then that I'm shirtless, but thankfully still have my pants. The last thing I need is Kakarrotto getting an eyeful. 

            The thought flees from my mind when he carefully touches my stomach, barely making contact. It tickles, but I'll be damned if I admit it. Then I remember: I already am damned. Too late for that now. So instead of telling him to stop, I allow him to continue tracing my abs, looking for any remnants of my self-inflicted wound. Finally satisfied after a few moments, he reaches to untie my hands. My interest is peaked, but he stops above my right hand and looks me straight in the eyes.

            He has his serious face on now.

            "Vegeta," he begins. "I want you to promise… no, _swear_ that if I untie your hands, you won't try to kill yourself. And you have to mean it!"

            I stare at him blankly. Finally, after a moments pause, I speak.

            "Why?" I ask. He grabs my wrist forcefully, but not hard enough to be painful.

            "Because! I already told you why! I don't want you to die!"

            "Why?"

            "Be… because…" he glances at the floor, then back up to my face. "I really like you Vegeta. I… don't want you to hurt."

            Something in me flares up suddenly.

            "Than let me die already!" I howl. "If you care about me so much and want me to stop being in pain, _let me die!_"

            Abruptly my mini tirade is halted by a warm body being crushed up against mine and arms encircling me. He burrows his face into my shoulder as best he can. 

            "No," he half whispers, half whimpers. 

            And yet again, my strong will faded away and I let him use me as a pillow. Or was it a plush animal to hug onto? Either way, it doesn't matter. I would have let him use me any way he liked. 

            After a moment, he pulls away.

            "Promise?" he pleads. I nod. If he wishes for me to live, then that's what I'll do. I have nothing left for myself, no me anymore. So he can have me as his plaything for as long as he wishes. I'll live for his pleasure alone, because I can have none of my own. Might as well. I've nothing else to do, and he's made it apparent he's not going to let me die. 

            My thoughts start running wild again. Maybe he'll be a good master. Maybe he'll be gentle with me and treat me like a pampered pet, though I know I don't deserve that. But he doesn't have to know, does he? But I would be content if he simply fed me on a regular basis. Well, not really. I'd rather have died in the first place, but that was out of the question now. Kakarrotto wants me to live, and I… I exist only for someone else's happiness. 

At the moment, that is only slightly better than death's peaceful sleeping. 

He unties my hands and helps me sit up. Apparently, I am still too weak to even push my body off the bed. 

Keeping one eye trained on me, making absolutely sure I do not break my promise, he brings a couple trays over to the bed and sets one on my lap, the other next to the bed. 

Before I can pick up the utensils, he does. Confused, I open my mouth to question him, but it is promptly filled full of food. Ah. I see. He wants to feed me. Very well then. I will allow him to. Again, I remind myself that I have no choice in the matter anyway. Swallowing, I open my mouth again and he shoves more food inside it. 

After about 5 platefuls of this, I refuse to eat any more, much to his displeasure. I do not mean to make him upset… but I am beginning to suspect that he has not eaten either. And I tell him so. 

Grimly, he nods. Sighing in defeat, he voraciously digs into a platter of food, then another and another… but he in turn refuses the last tray of food. I protest, saying that he needs it because he is still not full. I also say that he needs more sleep; he still looks pale and tired, though it has improved since when I first noted it. 

But then he uses that same dirty tactic he used before with the water. Shoving food in his mouth and pretending to eat it, then pouncing me when my guard is down and forcing it into my mouth through his own. I try to push it back into his, but he will not have it. Growling, he uses more force, making it clear that he will make me eat whether I want to or not. I give in and take the pre-chewed food without protest. I do not even flinch when he repeats the process until the plate is cleared. Though I know that he knows I will feed myself now. 


	3. Breaking Through

Ah, sorry for the long time between updates! ^^; I've been a little lazy about updating recently… so sorry!

And for those who asked, there are 9 chapters currently, but I think I'm going to have to add another chapter for it to be complete. Darn. And I thought I had finished it. :P

To Zogeta: I have read your fic Whatever Kakarot Whatever, and I love it! I didn't recognize you at first! ^_^ 

Breaking Through

He deems me well enough to walk around the room now. Though he still hovers around me, as if awaiting a sign. Some sort of signal, a sign that I will fall again. I know I will. But he still waits anxiously. He probably doesn't want his pet to be hurt. Alright then. I'll try to not hurt. For him.

            Stretching my sore muscles, I finally gather up enough brain power to ask him outright. 

            "Where are we?"

            He blinks, surprised that I'm speaking again. Then he smiles gently.

            "We're actually on the Lookout. I had Dende heal you when…" he trails off. He doesn't want to remember it, doesn't want to admit that it happened and that I'm not alright. I'll oblige him. 

            "Other than him, does anyone else know I'm here?" I ask. He nods.

            "Bulma and Trunks."

            I pause, thinking. Wait a second…

            "What about your woman and brats?" He looks at me sadly, though I can still see a small smile planted on his face. He seems like he's in pain.

            "… I never told you, did I?" he whispers. He chuckles a bit, then continues. "Gohan and Goten know I'm here, but I didn't tell them about you. Though they probably know by now. It's been a week…"

            My eyes widen a little. A week? I've been asleep for at least 4 days? 

            "But Chichi…" he continues. "She left awhile ago." He shrugs. "She didn't want to stay anymore. She went back to live with the Ox-King. Said she didn't want to stay where she wasn't appreciated, where her husband is an alien and won't stay home and get a job like a normal person."

            I watch, interested, as his hands clench briefly at his sides. But immediately he relaxes and smiles widely at me. My stomach churns at that smile. 

I hate it.

"What now? Are you going to keep me tied up for the rest of my miserable existence?" 

He frowns and stares at a spot on the wall before turning back to me with the most intense look I've ever seen on him. Even more intense than the one he uses in battle to intimidate his enemies. I shiver and shrink back.

"If that's what it takes."

And suddenly it starts cackling manically. It won't have to cease its existence. It will live in me, take over me, consume me whole and destroy everything I have to hold onto. 

I shriek and stumble backwards in a panic. No no no no! I can't let it- … I _won't_ let it! It'll hurt them! 

I vaguely see him leap to my aid and I can almost feel him holding me still while my body acts out my subconscious wishes and attempts to claw my own heart out. My body jerks and shudders in a vain attempt to overpower him. But I can't feel him. I can't hear the words he's saying.

_'Weak little Princeling! Are you too scared to go on? Are you too scared to fight me?'_

I scream out loud, arching my back. 

"YES!" I howl. I want it to go away! Go away go away, **_go away_**!! I keep screaming and writhing, desperately trying to purge it from me through my blood. It burns!

"_Vegeta__!_"

I howl and thrash like a madman. I am. I know this. But I can't stop! Kami help me, I don't _want_ to stop!

"**_VEGETA!!!_**" 

I stiffen at the voice breaking through the haze of hysteria. And abruptly remember my promise. 

It breaks me.

Sobbing loudly, I curl up around myself, burying my shamed face into my knees. I'm worthless. I can't even keep a promise without being reminded to. He will hate me. I know he will. At the very least he will scream at me for being an idiot. Something about that seems wrong, but I am too occupied to care. 

I don't even register it at first. Too wrapped up in my shame and despair at my weakness, I don't notice the soothing feeling filtering through me at first. When I do, I push it away forcefully. No. I don't want to feel comforted. But whatever it is, it's insistent. It pushes into my mind and warms what it touches. The _thing_ snarls and snaps at the warmth angrily. It had almost had me, and now something else was invading my mind and drawing me away from it. It snarls more.

Despite my wishes, I relax under it. It's soft and strong, and it has something in it that I do not recognize but makes me feel… good. I'm starting to feel drowsy. In my grogginess, I tentatively reach out and brush it, trying to find out what it is. 

I jerk back like I was burned. Snapping to consciousness again, I struggle to look Kakarrotto in the face. He's… he's in my _mind_! He's not supposed to be there! 

But I can't move my head far enough to see him. He has his arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my sides. As I note this, he curls protectively around my small body and… purrs? 

He is purring. A deep rumbling sound, like a continuous roll of thunder, but I can recognize it. It sounds like his brother's. I am shocked into placidity. 

"K… Kakarrotto?" I manage to squeak out. He shifts his hold on me, and moves me so that I can see his face. Putting a finger to my mouth to silence me, he smiles at me… but it's different. I don't understand.

"Shh, Vegeta," he croons. I try not to be comforted by it. I fail. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Staring at him in wide-eyed shock, I feel my heart racing. But why? I can't understand why what he said felt like another spear of energy went through my stomach. I curl into a tighter ball of flesh and bone, unsure of what is going on. 

He looks troubled by this, and moves his hand from over my mouth to cup my cheek. I can do nothing but stare. Even as he leans forward and gently presses his lips against my forehead. I can't keep my breathing even and tears are beginning to start flowing again. 

I don't know what he wants and it scares me. 

"Vegeta…" he whispers. This is different from the other times he has whispered, but I'm not sure how. "Let me see. Let me see what's making you like this… please…"

I gape at him a moment longer before nodding meekly. If he can see it… then he'll be frightened and disgusted. He'll leave me alone. I can die in peace. 

I can feel his mind enter mine. I let it, offering no opposition. He sifts curiously through memories, pausing now and then to collect himself. He does not like what he sees, I can tell that much. 

And that's when it happens. The _thing_ rears up and snarls at him. It strikes at him, but it cannot touch him. He backs away in surprise, but upon discovering it cannot harm him, he becomes bolder and does the mental equivalent of poking it.

I am confident that once he discovers what it is, he will be disgusted and flee, leaving me to die again. 

But when he finally does discover its nature… he pets it. Both myself and itself jump in surprise. He's… he's not supposed to _pet_ it! But that is what he's doing. It's screaming and snarling and wailing at him, writhing every which way to get away from his warm gentle caresses, but as I said before; he is insistent. He pursues it into the very corners of my mind and… melts it away.

I jerk, staring at his placid face. What did he…

He smiles… lovingly? Is that what it's called? But I don't understand! What happened? _What's going on?!_

"Shhh, 'Geta…" he murmurs. I'm shaking, trembling. He holds me close again and my head rests against his chest.

"I understand now…" he sighs. I'm glad _he_ understands. 

"You were tearing yourself apart, 'Geta… that scary thing in you… don't be sad anymore, it's gone, I promise…"

Gone? But… I'm not dead! It was only… it could…

I'm reeling with shock. How much shock can I take in one day anyway? I shakily peer into my own mind. And I find that he's telling the truth! It's really gone… but… what?... he melted it away within minutes of entering my mind! How could he do that?!

"Because…" he murmurs again, burying his face into my hair. I realize he still has a tendril of his mind connected to my own.

"Because… it couldn't stand love…"

My heart stops and another jolt of energy goes through my stomach. 


	4. Breaking Away

Breaking Away

Love? _Love_?! It couldn't stand love, so it melted away from me?! This doesn't make any sense!

He's rocking back and forth, and in doing so rocks me as well. I suddenly get an image of the two of us; him sitting on the floor, curled in a protective posture around me and rocking slowly back and forth, him with his face buried in my hair and purring, and I with a shocked and confused look on my face, half buried in his gi top. 

I look like a child.

And now I'm laughing hysterically, even as I hiccup through left-over tears, and I can't stop it! It's just so funny! I must look like an infant, being crooned and rocked back to sleep after waking from a nightmare. That's what this feels like. Trying to die in order to rid myself of a poisonous voice in my head, going into fits of insanity… that was all just a bad dream, wasn't it? Everything before? Coming to Earth, living with Bulma, coming back after training to find that I had a son? Cell, the androids, letting Babidi take my mind over and beating the crap out of Kakarrotto? Wasn't it all just a really long, detailed dream? Had I always been in his arms, being purred to like a frightened child?

I whimper.

"I want to see Bulma." 

The purring stops. For a brief instant, he curls around even more tightly, but then he relaxes and releases me from his hold. Picking me up, he makes me stand (still treating me like a child!) and stands himself. 

He looks disappointed.

Grabbing onto my arm, he raises two fingers to his forehead. 

Suddenly, we're in the kitchen of Capsule Corporation. Bulma's mother is directing one of the robotic maids on how to properly prepare some dish of some sort. Not bothering to say hello, Kakarrotto drags me out of the room and in the direction of one of the many office complexes housed in the building. Passing the gossiping workers in the hallways, he continues until we come to a door that, as far as I can make out from my limited knowledge of this planet's written language, says "President". 

He knocks on the door politely and waits. If he feels anything about the staring and whispering of the people around us, he does not show it. 

A voice from behind the thick wooden door invites us in. Pushing the door open, Kakarrotto leads me in. The door clicks shut behind me.

And there's Bulma, sitting behind a desk, completely engrossed in some papers. She finally looks up after Kakarrotto coughs. 

He's still holding onto my wrist.

"Goku!" she exclaims joyfully, standing up to rush over and hug him like she normally does. But she pauses when she sees me. 

"Vegeta…" she breathes. I can smell the nervousness radiating off of her, and I can't look her in the eye. I stare at the corner of her desk.

From the corner of my eye I see her smile weakly and walk towards Kakarrotto and embrace him. She whispers a "thank you" into his ear. Maybe she thinks I would not have heard it? 

My stomach turns again at the image presented to my mind. Again. 

I start seeing this as a play. Bulma is the mother. Kakarrotto is the father. And I'm the misbehaving child who has been dragged unwillingly to his mother for punishment. I almost expect her to stalk up to me, one hand on her hips, the other wagging a scolding finger in my face and telling me what a bad child I am.

_'Ungrateful. Selfish. Don't know when to knock it off. Can't stop getting in trouble. I'm always having to bail you out. Can't take care of yourself. Mistake.'_

As it is, she stands in front of me. Glancing at his grip on me, then back to my face. 

"Are you through now Vegeta?" she asks softly. I shiver. Her voice seems cold to me right now. I don't know how to answer. I shrug noncommittally. 

Kakarrotto's grip tightens.

Bulma frowns, but nods, as if I confirmed something in her mind. It makes me nervous, what could be going on in her mind. 

Truthfully, the woman scares me.

She walks back over to her desk and sits behind it again. Folding her hands in front of her, she sighs. I can feel my legs threatening to shake. I have this sudden urge to hide behind Kakarrotto's larger body. 

"Vegeta… I think, it would be best…"

No. No no no. Please don't say it Bulma, please don't say it. Please. I'm begging! Please don't say what I know you're going to say!

"If…"

His hand slips from my wrist to entwine with my hand. My legs are shaking and small tremors are going down my arms. My eyes are wide and it's all I can do to keep shining tears from springing to them. STOP IT!!

"… you were to live somewhere else. And… not be alone with… Trunks…"

Jolts race up and down my spine and I quiver. I can hear Kakarrotto arguing with her.

"…not a danger… another chance… Trunks… listen to me!"

I want my eyes to roll back into my head. I want to faint and not have to deal with this. This isn't happening either. I just fell back to sleep within Kakarrotto's arms. I'm just dreaming again. The room's spinning and I swear that I'll wake up momentarily. Please, somebody make it stop! This is worse! I wish that I still had that dark thing in my mind, because this is too much for me to take! I want to give in to it, but it's not there! The one day I break, and it's not there to laugh and rip me to pieces! It's not here to kill them for me, so I can make this stop! I want this to stop! Help! I'm drowning!

_Someone help me!_


	5. Joining Together

*wails* OMG, you all are so nice to me! Gods, I just feel so… so loved and worshipped! *cries some more as her ego begins swelling even more that it has been* I… I just love you all for being such wonderful reviewers! *clings to you and never ever lets go*

An interesting thought though… does this mean I have fans now? 0_o? 'Cause I know I'm a fan of authors like Burenda and Chuquita and a lot of other authors here… but it never occurred to me that I might have fans. I don't update that often, and my stories aren't _that_ good, are they? *is confused and feeling extremely flattered*

Also, I apologize in advance for the small size of this chapter. I have them broken up into small sections, for the most part… it lengthens the number of times I can update (and the number of times this fic is re-circulated to the top of the list. ;) )

Joining Together

Kakarrotto's grip on my hand tightens as he snarls at Bulma. Snarls? When did he learn how to snarl? Before I can finish the thought, he teleports both of us away. 

Now we're standing in the middle of a forest clearing. There's a small house to the side… As I inhale, I can smell Gohan. Ah. It's his house then. 

Before I can react, he gathers me up in his arms and takes off, flying away from the house. Having no choice in the matter, I cling to him. I feel ill…

I think I'm in shock. 

And now we're landing in the middle of another forest. He sets me down gently, then has to catch me because my legs give out. He lets me sit on the leafy ground. 

'Sorry.'

He sits beside me, leaning back against a tree trunk. His hands are lying in his lap and he tilts his head up toward the sky, closing his eyes and sighing. I'm not sure why I keep noticing these things. I don't know why I keep staring, or why I'm feeling helpless and vulnerable… or why I seem to trust him completely. 

Heh. I'm still a child, aren't I? 

"… Kakarrotto?" I say, trying to get his attention. 

_A little boy tugging on his hand, a question in his eyes, mouth open and ready to voice it.__ Eyes wide in innocent curiosity…_

"Yeah?" he responds, opening his eyes and turning to look at me. I suddenly can't remember what my question was. Did I have a question to begin with? 

I end up just staring at him with wide eyes. I hope he understands. Because I certainly don't…

"… She shouldn't have done that," he says, frowning and looking away. I blink, surprised. What?

"I tried to tell her you were alright now! That Trunks wouldn't be in any danger, and that you were okay! But she won't listen!" he almost yells. But I can hear that he wanted to scream. It's in his voice. I wonder why he doesn't. 

I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything. I watch a squirrel dart by us blankly. 

Kakarrotto seems to fall silent for a few minutes. He inhales or exhales sharply every once in awhile, but makes no other sound. He must be thinking very hard. I can almost hear the rusty wheels in his head turning and trying to work at full speed. 

"I got it!" he exclaims, startling me so much that I jump. When I look at him, he's grinning at me, obviously happy with himself for thinking of such a brilliant… whatever he's thought of. 

            "You can live with me!"

            My eyes get wider, if that was possible. They're beginning to hurt. 

            "W-what?" I stutter.

            "You can live with me!" he replies happily. "You know, since I can't convince Bulma to take you back."

            Stab stab, twist twist. Drive the dagger in a bit deeper, Kakarrotto. I don't believe I'm dead yet. He seems to realize his mistake and hastily tries to apologize. 

            "I'm sorry Vegeta! I didn't… I didn't mean it that way, I swear! I just… I meant… ooh!" he groans, frustrated. He falls back into silence, apparently waiting for me to say something. I've hardly said anything since I asked to see Bulma…

            Do I want to live with him? It wouldn't be so bad, would it? He does want me to. I can see that… and I owe him. For saving my life (hah! What life? This?), I suppose, but more so for getting rid of that demon in my head. Though I'm still not sure exactly how he did that. I'll have to ask him once I'm feeling better. Right now I still feel weak and vulnerable. And I wouldn't be able to take care of myself if I was on my own… I never have been able to keep out of trouble when I'm left to my own devices. But then… I don't have much of a choice. He wouldn't let me be alone out here in this world anyway. 

            "Okay," I say softly, still slightly nervous. He beams and promptly gathers me into a huge hug. I think I hear my ribs crack. 

            "Great!" he says enthusiastically. My heart starts thumping faster at his tone of voice and I feel a shoot of some odd emotion worm its way in between the thumping. 

            "We'll go get your stuff from Capsule Corporation and move it to my house, okay?" 

            I nod and smile slightly for his sake. It makes him happy. I can still smell a lot of worry on him, but right now he smells nice. Like he should smell. I feel smug for a moment, but it fades as soon as I recognize it. I hadn't known I could still feel that.

            He teleports us again (is it possible to get Instantaneous Movement sickness?) and I'm standing in my room. 

            He looks troubled. I suppose I can understand why. The walls are painted dark black with thick curtains over the windows and the only furniture is the bed and a small dresser. Both are metal. The bed has a thin mattress on it, and its covers are black too. Not silk. I don't like silk. And I don't like plush mattresses. They're too strange. And I don't like the smell of wood. 

            "Ah…" Kakarrotto starts. "Why… why is the carpet ripped up? And why are the walls all…" 

            I look away from him, slightly embarrassed at the first question. One night I had woken up from a nightmare and I could swear that there was something underneath the carpet. I had ripped it up trying to find it. So I only answer the second question.

            "… There can't be any strange shadows if the entire room is one," I say shortly. It's mostly the truth. 

            He blinks. "Oh."

            And I busy myself gathering what meager possessions I have. A few sets of clothes and training outfits. That's about it. I can tell the small pile of clothes I present to Kakarrotto surprises him. He thought that I had more than just clothing. Though what he thought I had, I don't know. 

            "This is it?"

            I nod. He looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn't. He teleports us away and I'm almost blinded by a bright light.


	6. Unsettling

First off, I want to thank the people who gave me positive feedback on this story. I appreciate it more than I can tell you. I'm not always a compassionate person, nor very gracious, so if I've failed to convey to you how much I love you, I'm doing it now. I love you _so much_. Also, as a side-note, I don't like the way I ended this chapter. Seems rushed, ya know? And very out of character, even considering how much I've warped thier personalities to begin with. Oh well. A bit too late now.

(Long-ass rant deleted because it caused more trouble than it was worth. Personal views are still intact however)

Unsettling

Shielding my eyes, I hear Kakarrotto drop my clothes on something soft. It's not the floor then…

After a moment of letting my eyes adjust, I take my hand away and look around. Kakarrotto is standing next to a bed and my clothes are laying on said bed. The room is… very very _bright_. It looks fairly modern, I suppose. I was expecting wooden floors and walls. But the walls are white plaster, and the carpet is plush and a dark green color. At least _something_ about this room is dark colored. The windows are a pair of sliding glass doors that almost take up the entire wall. So, that's where the light's coming from…

"This can be your room for now Vegeta," he says, still with a happy tone in his voice. He sounds genuinely glad that I'm here.

"Ah... thank you..." I say quietly. I'm overcome again with a sudden bout of uncertainty.

"No problem!" he chirps. He starts to lead me on a tour of the house.

"Over here is the bathroom, and the kitchen's this way, the room with the television in it is across the hall, and the laundry room is at the very end of the hall!"

It doesn't have very many rooms… but they're all fairly large rooms by themselves. I look out of a window and come to the conclusion that we're in a Capsule house in the middle of a secluded forest. How like him.

I'm trying not to say anything about the piles of dirty dishes and the clothing scattered everywhere. The man obviously knows nothing about how to take care of himself properly. Though I suppose he doesn't need to. He's lived by himself for awhile now, hasn't he? And he apparently doesn't mind the mess much…

"Ah! I'm so stupid!" he exclaims, snapping me out of my observations. He's got one hand slapped against his forehead and is berating himself about something or another.

"Stay here, okay 'Geta? I'll be right back!"

So he obviously trusts me enough to let me stay in a room by myself. We had been in the living room when he walked out. It had a large plush looking couch and a table and a television. Not much else.

Sighing, I sit down on the edge of the couch and search amidst the piles of dirty dishes for the remote controller for the blasted television. Finding it, I flick the television on and cautiously lean back onto the couch.

I don't like plush, soft things. They make me nervous.

Flicking through the various channels idly, I fail to notice a sneaking presence behind me. Without warning, I find myself pressed into the couch from behind, and I panic, thinking that perhaps the couch has decided to absorb me into its soft cushions and I'll never again see the light of day.

"Geez Vegeta, you squeal like a girl!" he laughs when I whirl around angrily to find him there, laughing, but still with his arms around my shoulders.

I'm doing my best to ignore the tingling that starts in said shoulders and travels throughout my body.

Giggling (I'm tempted to tell him that he sounds more like a girl than any squeal that came forth from _my_ lips), he picks me up under the arms and starts carrying me off somewhere.

"Damn it! Stop carrying me around! I can walk by myself!" I snap. Good. Some of my old fire is coming back, I suppose. But maybe that isn't good? Maybe Kakarrotto doesn't like his pets fiery. Maybe I should squelch it some more. He probably wants me to act like before, so he can curl around me and purr. He seemed to like that. Truthfully, I didn't mind it so much either.

He sets me on the ground so I can stand on my own. I gape at him, surprised. And he just stands there, smiling, and takes my hand and leads me to wherever he was going before.

Ah, now I can smell it! He's attempted to cook something, I think. As he leads me into the kitchen, it's confirmed. He _attempted_ to cook something.

Though at this point, the roasted, if slightly charred, wolf carcass looks downright appetizing. He pushes me gently toward it and motions for me to help myself. I look at him questioningly. He's not going to eat? He's just going to watch?

He nods and motions again. Shrugging it off, I tear into it and eat with as much grace as I can. I have no utensils after all. The body had just been slapped down onto the table after being roasted, and it's not so bad really. I haven't eaten since breakfast that morning, and it was getting near dusk after all… I freeze suddenly, the meat forgotten even though my stomach still snarls at me for it.

He nodded. He _nodded_ when I _thought_ a question!

I turn to look at him. He's still standing at the doorway, watching me. There's something different in the way he's looking at me. There's that protectiveness, yes, but there's something else I can't figure out! My eyes widen and I can feel my pupils dilate when I realize it.

He entered my mind. He destroyed the thing in my mind with _affection_. He knew when to let go, knew when to hold me still, when I was going to fall, knew my questions before I asked them, knew when he hurt me and apologized before I could even look hurt, _everything_! He… what did he _do_?!

He looks at me quizzically. I can feel it now. He's sending waves of confusion and nervousness at me, unintentionally. He doesn't understand why I stopped eating, or why he can feel the emotional waves of panic begin to pour out from me. He wants to step forward, but he doesn't, waiting for my first move.

But I can't move. I'm stuck at gaping stupidly at him. He didn't… he couldn't, could he? But when did…

Tilting his head to one side in a confused gesture, he sends a sort-of thought to me in the form of a question. A silent equivalent to "What's wrong?"

"Y-y-you…" I stutter. I'm shaking again and this time he moves forward, ready to catch me if my legs collapse.

"_You've bonded yourself to me!_" I screech, somewhat hysterically, before my eyes roll up into the back of my head and I faint.


	7. Echo

-sighs- I'm all better now. Got it out of system, went out on a shopping spree (I shop when upset. Bad habit, I know…) and generally bitched to anyone who would listen. But it's resolved now, see? So I won't be turning back into a snarling bitch again. For awhile anyway… .

I want to thank everybody who reviewed (not just with the support for this whole ordeal), because every time I see a nice review, I squeal. And when I squeal, it's a very good thing. I squeal very rarely. So review some more! :)

Hmm… it never occurred to me that I would scare the regular people reading this by posting that rather lengthy author's note… would it make everyone more comfortable if I took it down now that this has all been taken care of? Pwease don't run away!!! -clings to readers desperately- ...I'm really quite civil once I've calmed down!

Also, _please_ do not bother CamaroForever. She's completely innocent in this, and I was recently informed that somebody reviewed her fic Monster, saying nothing but how it was not similar to my fic. 0o Not even a email address. While I appreciate the loyalty (whoever did that, don't think that I'm mad at you. I'm not.), please don't pester her, okay?

Anyway… I want to thank everybody for sticking with me. I love you guys! -cling-

Also (I should get to the story soon, ne?) I'd like to inform you that the next couple of chapters will be slightly later than usual. See, I decided to add a bit to the story and I want to get that done first. That, and semester finals are in two weeks So, yeah, I'm leaving you all hanging. Bad me. Bad.

Echo

Inhale. Exhale. Breathe in. Breathe out. Everything's nice and dark. Normally it would be terrifying, but for some reason it's… comforting. It's warm and it smells nice.

But then, there's something that brushes against my mind. It feels so much different from the darkness, radically different. I'm suddenly struck with the feeling that something has gone wrong. There's something terribly wrong here…

I slowly open my eyes, bracing myself for the bright light I've grown accustomed to. But there is none. Internally panicking, I sit up quickly, and instantly regret it. My head feels like someone has pounded it into the ground repeatedly and my eyes water.

Allowing myself a few moments to let the pain ebb away, I finally get a good look around. Calming myself, I eventually remember that this is Kakarrotto's house. His living room, to be exact. I'm lying on the couch from before and there's a dim light on. The plush-ness of the couch is making me feel uneasy. Maybe that's what made me feel as if something was wrong? Kakarrotto is… wait a moment… where is he? I can smell him, but he's hiding his ki…

A flicker across my mind makes me look up and I almost shriek out loud.

He's standing behind the couch, yet still looming over me. I accidentally look at his eyes and I'm caught again. They're still filled with the protectiveness, and what I think I can identify as affection, but underlying it is an irritation. I swallow reflexively.

He's not happy with me at all.

"Vegeta," he starts. I quickly wonder if I can run fast enough to lose him. Then I remember that he has that Instant Movement technique.

"…what did you mean?"

I blink blankly at him. What?

"Before, right before you fainted," he answers my unspoken question out loud again. "What did you mean when you said that I had 'bonded' to you?"

…What? He doesn't know what bonding even _means_? Though it doesn't strike me as odd when I think about it. Humans have never spoken about any bondings between them, so I assume there are none. He doesn't even know what he's done, probably. Hm. Baka.

"'Geta?"

I snort derisively at him.

'It _means_ baka, that you have somehow forged a mental connection with me that can't be broken. A bond that _normally_ only occurs between _mates_,"

I watch as he slowly tries to comprehend that. A flash of annoyance flickers across his mind at the way I talked to him, but he quickly suppresses it in favor of quiet contemplation.

I'm expecting him to be shocked. I'm expecting him to apologize for bonding me against my will, or for even thinking of me like that in the first place. I'm expecting him to break down crying, sobbing that he didn't mean to and that he's so stupid for doing something like that. Or maybe become angry with me for speaking in that tone towards him. Maybe snarl and pin me against the couch and demand that I apologize.

But true to his nature, he does the exact fucking _opposite_ of what I expect him to do.

Smiling broadly, he says "Oh! Well, that's alright. I was thinking it was something really bad, like I hurt you or something!"

How many times do I have to gape up in shock at this man?!

"W-what?!" I stutter. He looks at me strangely again, and I feel my stomach turn. He's looking at me like a child again. Then suddenly, he frowns.

"I thought I made it clear before, Vegeta," he says seriously, reaching out and grabbing my chin so I'm forced to look at him.

"I thought you understood, when I said it before…" he murmurs, leaning in closer. I can't move. I think this is how a scared prey animal feels when it's cornered by the hunter.

"…That I really really like you…"

And before I can react, he's pressing his lips against mine and the hand that was holding my chin moves to the back of my head and its fingers bury themselves in my hair.

I can't breathe and my vision starts to go blurry. I close my eyes in an attempt to stop my vision from spinning. He's… he's kissing me? But… there's no food or water in his mouth. Why would he…?

_"I really really like you…"_

Oh. Crap.


	8. Opportunity

Wow, I seem to be picking up a small following… I don't know whether to be scared or flattered.

On a more serious note… EVERYONE: Listen up. I'm not accusing anyone of doing the following, but this is an added reminder. Camaro-san has informed me that some people are leaving behind reviews on her story about this past… event… even though I've kindly asked people to leave her alone. I'll make this clear then: _Do not bother her about my issues_. However much it boosts my ego that there are people out there who want to defend me, I really don't need my ego boosted up. And Camaro-san doesn't need to be pestered. She doesn't deserve it, none of what happened was her fault. Okay? Leave the woman alone.

This story will only be a few more chapters long I think. I wasn't planning on making an epic after all. :) Sorry 'bout that guys, but I need to get this over and done with so I can finish more fics. Not sure if any more of them will be shonen-ai though. ;)

Sorry for the short-ness and relative pointless-ness of this one. It doesn't add much to the story I think... but oh well.

Opportunity

I find myself wanting to stay that way. It's not so bad. He could be beating me for talking to him like that. But he's not. He's kissing me, and rather gently too. I'm not sure if my liking it is good or bad.

Just as I start relaxing under him, he pulls away. Opening my eyes slowly, I see him watching me again, waiting for a reaction, something that will tell him whether or not to push this. What? Push what?

I can't look away from him and I can't figure out why. He said he "really really likes me", but _why_? Why would he like me enough to kiss me?

He picks up on my thought (he's doing this more frequently now) and smiles again, moving his hand to cup my cheek carefully.

The physical contact (more the tenderness of the action) makes me nervous and I can feel myself blushing in embarrassment, but he doesn't move it.

"I like you…" he whispers. "…because you're _you _right now. Because I just _do_, Vegeta! I don't really know why exactly, but… I want you to stay close to me."

He pauses, looking confused, and moves his hand away.

"Maybe it's because I'm lonely," he continues. "But then, that wouldn't make sense, 'cause I've been alone before and it didn't bother me much… but for some reason… I can't bear the thought of you going away…"

He falls silent, staring at the air for a few moments. I'm having a hard time processing all of this. First I try to kill myself, then recover with Kakarrotto as my nurse, he erases the menacing presence in my mind, practically confesses his love for me, Bulma kicks me out of the house, Kakarrotto accepts me into his, and then I find out he's bonded to me and he kisses me and says, more or less, that he loves me.

I think I'm going to be ill.

There's nothing I can do however. Bonding is permanent, despite how inconvenient it is to be permanently bound to someone. I suppose that very close friends could share a bond as well… but I'm not too sure. Besides that, Kakarrotto has made it clear that, unless he goes around kissing his friends like that all the time, I am not simply a very close friend. It must mean that he wants me as a mate, right? But that still leaves a lot of questions…

"When?" I ask bluntly. He blinks, looking confused.

"When what?"

Of all the stupid times to not read my mind, you moron…

"When did you bond to me?!"

Looking enlightened, he says "Oh! Well when you were… your ki was… I kind of, y'know, went into your mind and sort of… pulled. I guess maybe that was it…"

I have the sudden urge to beat my head against a wall. If it wasn't aching already that is. He chooses now of all times to go back to acting like a moron. Damned idiot and his mood swings and personality shifts.

I sigh. It doesn't really matter now though. He's told me enough. Him entering my mind and grabbing hold of it to pull me back from the brink of death… that would have been enough to establish a bond, I suppose. I'm trying to remember anything Nappa or Raditz ever said about bonding. There wasn't much, but I think I remember that there was something about the one being bonded needing to have accepted it in the first place. I'm probably misremembering it however.

"So…" I say. He turns to stare at me again. "What now?"

"What do you mean?"

My old anger flares up again.

"I mean, what're you going to do with me now?! Keep me as a pet? Dress me up like a child's doll and parade me around to your friends? Drag me off somewhere and fuck me senseless?! Keep me as your whore?!"

Shit. I shut up instantly. But the damage had already been done, and I can't go back and erase it. I shiver involuntarily as I look at his emotionless face. Damn it. I screwed up this time. When do I ever do anything right anyway?

He moves toward me, but I flinch back. I won't admit that I'm afraid… but I don't want to be beat. I'm too used to this gentle world, I can't handle being treated that way anymore… this place has made me soft, Kakarrotto… and you've spoiled me with your gentle touches and words, your comforting smell… please, Kakarrotto, do not confirm my fears…

"'Geta…" he whispers, his face softening into a sad smile, his eyes showing worry. But I'm still unsure, still skittish. He could be using this as a way to get my guard down, get me to let him into the center of my mind and then break me from the inside…

Bristling, I feel his mind brush against mine, but he does not attempt to enter it. He's… trying to get my attention? Looking at him quizzically, I nudge his mind back cautiously.

And find it wide open and trusting.

I quickly withdraw and look up at his eyes. They're closed, and he's completely relaxed. He's allowing me to have my way, and he will give no resistance. Seizing my opportunity, I plunge into his mind.


	9. Emotion

You have Queen Phoenix to thank for this update. I was planning on updating last night, but… time got away from me you see. So, upon checking my email I find that I have a single review pleading me to update SOON. So I have.

Yes, I tend to need a good kick in the butt to get going on anything. I'm a lazy lazy girl. . But the good news is that I managed to get a bit more done and I'm so incredibly close to the ending I want. Unfortunately, said ending screams "sequel" at me. And this thing _is_ a sequel. Damn it, I can't win.

Oh, and sorry again for the shortness. I can't help myself.

Emotion

I'm greeted with a barrage of emotions, which I can only describe as a heat wave rushing up to caress my face. They're all centered around me, lifting me up and holding me there. Even if I wished to, I could not break free of them. But luckily I do not wish to at the moment. I concentrate on them and they reveal themselves. Worry. Affection. Pride. Fear. Love.

I try to focus on things beyond them now. I begin sifting through thoughts and memories like I'm swimming through water. It's thick, slow-moving water, but liquid nonetheless.

Flashes of memories present themselves to me. Meeting Bulma, seeing the Eternal Dragon for the first time, finding his home and adopted Grandfather smashed flat, meeting all of his human friends, the birth of his eldest son, holding him in his arms and feeling so proud and happy, the turmoil of emotions associated with Raditz's botched attempt at recruiting him, the afterlife, training, learning the Kamehameha wave, _me_.

There's an entire patch of memories with nothing but myself in them. Seeing me for the first time, through his eyes. I'm standing at a distance, watching idly as Nappa is about to crush his son's head. Killing Nappa, I can feel his dismay. Our first battle, fighting on Namek, myself, _dying_ on Namek. Burying me. Coming back to Earth to find me wearing a pink shirt with the words "Bad Man" emblazoned on the back. Thought it hilarious. My being possessed by Babidi, killing those people, fighting you, giving you that speech, pouring my soul out for the second time since you've known me, waking up to find that I had sacrificed myself, and in vain… that hurt you, didn't it? Why? Why did you care that I had died?

Something ripples through his mind, trying to reach me. Another memory? I reach out and touch it. Affection nuzzles against me, but I ignore it.

Fusion. You didn't think that I would come back, so you had planned on fusing with your son… but that didn't work out. You were getting desperate, when I showed up. Throwing the earring over to me, you told me to put it on. We argued back and forth… but I yielded. We flew at each other. I was terrified, but you… you were smiling. Why? We collided and fused together. The point of fusion… it was odd, wasn't it? If the earrings were what caused the fusion, shouldn't our heads have connected first?

Nevertheless, I convinced myself that the tingling sensation was caused by the magic of the damned earrings.

But now I'm seeing it through your eyes, feeling your emotions. You were… happy? Happy with becoming one person with me? Even though you would cease to exist… you knew that you would continue to live… with me. Closer than you could ever be normally, you could be with me forever, closer than just physically. We were sharing souls, weren't we? I had forgotten…

It had been warm then. Not unpleasantly so; just enough warmth to always be warm. It was a simple as that. There was no unnecessary thought, only feeling. Thought was for the creature we had given birth to. Heh. What an odd way to phrase that…

But what we felt was safe. We knew that nothing could really harm us within there. And no one would be able to disturb us, and neither of us could break the fusion and tear themselves away from the other. It didn't matter. The difference in personalities, in ranking, in power, in backgrounds: none of it mattered. Because we were two sides to the same person, cautiously poking and prodding each other in curiosity, exploring and discovering unknown territory.

Abruptly, Affection smothers me and Love sticks itself to me in its fervor. Fear slinks back a bit, and Worry just hovers nearby, awaiting my reaction. Kakarrotto is waiting to see what I'll do.

I can feel myself breaking, slowly. I withdraw myself from his mind, shaking and trembling.

There was no malice in his mind. No pity, no anger, no hatred. Fear, yes, but not _of_ me. He feared _for_ me. Everything in him is honest in his love for me, and I can barely stand it.

My heart won't slow down. I think I'm going to break again if he doesn't do something…


	10. Understand

My favorite chapter.

Understand

I don't understand. This is insane! He can't… he can't feel this way! Why would he do this?! I wanted to kill him for so long, but he has always admired me? That makes no sense! Why would he do that?! What redeeming quality could I possibly possess that would make me seem like a choice for a good mate?! Is he that desperate for affection that I seemed like a good choice in a possible mate?

My mind is reeling, and I'll be damned if I can stop it.

"Vegeta?"

I can't see. My eyes won't focus. Don't faint, don't faint, don't faint…

"Are you okay? Vegeta?!"

Sorry. I'm worrying you again, aren't I? I did promise I'd make sure you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. I promised I'd be good. And I haven't been. I've doubted you, I've done terrible things Kakarrotto. I've _yelled at you_, I've _disobeyed you_. I swore I'd be good and okay and alright, just for you, and I've been the exact opposite.

He lunges at me and gathers my limp body into his arms, holding tightly, as if I'll fade away into air. I can smell the panic on him, the desperation.

I promise I'll be good from now on, Kakarrotto. You can have me as your mate. I won't mind it much, truthfully. I won't resist, I promise.

I nuzzle the chest I'm pressed into, but he doesn't loosen his hold. I don't know why.

I've taken everything good away from you. I'm the reason you're wife left, aren't I? I'm the reason you cried, the reason she couldn't stay with you anymore. You lied to me before, Kakarrotto. You… you lied. You lied too, Kakarrotto.

_Liar._

The body holding me still jerks suddenly, tensing. Damn. He must have heard that then. But for some reason I'm not scared. The thought of him being angry at me flickers through my mind, attempting to squeeze some sort of vestige of fear or worry out of my exhausted mind, but it finds none left.

I'm suddenly exhausted. Though God knows I've been unconscious enough for the last few days. But apparently not enough. I'm still so tired…

His body jerks again and I hear a strangled noise from above me. Mindless curiosity prompts me to tilt my head up and look at Kakarrotto's tear-streaked face.

My eyes widen in surprise. He's… what is he doing? Why is he crying? I don't understand why he's crying. Why is he sad? I just said that I would be good for him and keep my promises like I was supposed to. Why is he sad?...

A full-fledged sob tears out of his mouth and throat and I jerk back in surprise at the sudden sound. His eyes are squeezed shut, tears leaking out (pouring out) despite the effort he puts in keeping his eyelids clamped firmly together.

Another hiccupped sob makes his entire body jerk again, and he bows his head until it nearly meets my shoulder.

Now that I know that it's there, the bond is pouring out everything he's feeling into me. No. Pouring is not the right word. The emotions are battering themselves against me, like large hailstones hitting a car.

The dents are the same.

Everything is swirling around in his mind too. He wants to shield and protect me from the universe, and keep it from doing me any more harm than it has already. He knows that I've already been damaged then. Good.

He wants so badly to keep me right there, crushed up against him, and soothe every negative thought and emotion away from me until I am nothing but happy. Or at least content. He would be happy with content.

But I'm already crushed up against him. What more does he want? Why is he still crying if I am already here and have no intention of leaving? Did he not want a loyal and devoted pet?

**_"NO!"_**

…

I don't understand.


	11. Begin

Begin

"_I never wanted that!_" he sobs into the juncture of my neck and shoulder. At the moment, I'm unable to do anything but sit there dumbly and let myself be held. I can't do anything but listen to him pour his heart out to me.

For some reason, it dawns on me that this would be the first time he has done so.

"I never wanted you to be broken!" he continues. "I want you to be _happy_, not just do whatever I say! I want you to be safe and happy and never have to be scared again! I want to be the one to help you Vegeta, but I can't help you when you keep sinking further into yourself! I just want you to feel safe… I want you to do whatever you want to and be happy doing it Vegeta."

He has calmed down a bit. But I still can't do anything. I don't know why. He removes his face from against my body and kisses the top of my head. He holds me up against him and buries his nose in my hair, inhaling in an attempt to calm down further.

"I…" he whispers. "…I did lie before… when I said Chichi left because of those things… she left because I couldn't love her completely, like I did before… I did really love her once, and I guess she really loved me too… but after so long… and then I died, and before then I had had to train for so long, and I ended up putting Gohan in danger…" he sighs into my hair, making me shiver slightly.

"I guess we just gradually stopped loving each other. And she kinda already knew that I loved you, so she decided one day that she didn't want to stay with me anymore. It didn't really matter, Gohan was already gone and Goten practically living at Trunks' place, he didn't really notice anything going on anyway…"

He smiles and I feel it because he's still attached to me like a second skin.

I don't care to push him away.

"Vegeta…." He whispers, and withdraws from me slightly, so that he can look at my face. I think I must look rather lost and confused. That's no surprise….

"Vegeta…" he starts again. "…if you'll let me… I want to help you. If you want me to, I'll stay right here next to you for as long as I can and help you get better for good. If you want me to, Vegeta… I'll be the one to love you."

And as my eyes widen and my brain finishes processing the implications of what he's said and I look up at his face, he smiles gently and loosens his grip on me. I sit back slightly and look up at his face.

I had never planned on any of this. Well, who does? I had never even entertained the notion. But here it was. I had planned on, hell, I had even hoped for, a blissful death. A quiet place to have, all to myself, and to hell with being lonely. But Kakarrotto had plans of his own I suppose.

I smirk slightly, cautiously. I can make this work. Okay, I can handle not being dead. I can be something besides his pet or whore. I can do this.

As pathetic as it sounds… I feel something lighten in my chest and fill up with a warm glowing energy. It expands and contracts and seems to enjoy making my skin tingle where Kakarrotto is touching me.

And it's not my fault when my body lunges forward and my arms wrap around his body and clings to him like an anchor in violently swirling waters. It's the energy doing that, I'm sure of it.

But I might as well enjoy the ride, right?

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........That's it people. The end. Told you it was a relatively short fic. Like I said before, this thing just _screams_ sequel at me. And I might make one. I might not. I'll have to think about it. And I need to get Lost and Found back on its feet. I've been neglecting that fic so badly, I hope you guys forgive me! I've got definite ideas for it, but there are so many I'm having trouble deciding on which one. Bad me. Bad.

I'd like to thank all my reviewers thus far. La Femme Chikara, Excel Excel, Tatoosh, Quoth Aurora, Ria, Zogeta, Purple-Moonlight, lanaya, Venni, Cool, Vegetas Saiyan Angel, Sarkywoman, BlackDragonFury, CamaroForever, Venus Legacy, snen, Liky, Lady Sakura-chan, mkh2, amaterasu, Kawaii, rara2, BishieQueen, Miyanon, Mince, Girl of the Flame, Blulily19, GutterBall, Queenoftheskies16, Mrs. Passionate, kai/rei foreverkai major uke, dc-sais, QueenPhoenix.

I love ya guys. I especially love some of you, but to be fair I won't point out who ;) But you know who you are.

This chapter was especially hard to do for some reason. I suppose I just hate ending things. I still don't like how I ended this. -scowls at ending-

Anyway, this chapter took me forever to write out. I'd do one sentence, then have to stop for three days and go back and write another sentence…. Ugh. Hellish evil chapter.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! (As always, reviews are loved upon)


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